5 Ways to Manifest Your Soul Mate

In order to attract your perfect soul mate, you first need to know exactly what qualities you are looking for – and what qualities you will not even consider. However, unless you do this correctly the Universe will keep sending you potential love interests that are not 100% compatible with you, simply because you have not told it what you want.

  1. Get rid of jealous emotions

Do not be a jealous person. You do not want jealous energy to become you. Whenever you see a happy couple pass by, do you find that you have feelings of envy? Does it make you feel down about yourself and about your life? Stop and think for a second. What are you feeling jealous about, exactly? Are you jealous of the person who has found love? Do you wish you were that particular person? On the other hand, perhaps you are jealous of their mate. Do you want to take away their significant other and for that person to be yours? Chances are, this is not the case. Most likely, you are jealous of the happiness they seem to feel. You are envying the idea and the picture of love and happiness they are projecting. Never mind the fact that you do not know these people or what struggles they may be going through that are not visible on the surface. Jealousy is a wasteful feeling and a drain on your energy. You deserve love, but everyone’s journey is different. Why be jealous of someone else’s journey? Jealousy can actually become a hindering wall to finding your soul mate. It says to the universe that you would rather gawk and feel envious of someone else’s picture of love than wait for your own.

  1. Don’t be desperate

I am sure we have all heard or told someone who was looking for love to “not seem desperate.” Well, the same applies to the mind and your thoughts. Even if you do not feel as confident in yourself as you think you should at this point in your life, remember that this is temporary and that your thoughts truly shape the person you are. It is constantly shaping you every second you are alive, so if your thoughts are desperate, you will be desperate. It is that simple! A desperate version of you will repel people. It will especially keep your soul mate away!

  1. Do what your passionate about

Like attracts like, and you may see evidence of this law in every blade of grass and every growing tree. – Napoleon Hill

Do you want to be with someone who is lackluster about life? Chances are your soul mate will not want to be with someone like that either. If you do not already know what you love to do, figure out what you are passionate about and immerse yourself in it. Being active in your passions and doing what you love – this sends out positive energy from your soul. You will find people who are passionate about the same things you are. It is a certainty! It is a law of energy that like energy will attract like energy. Don’t you think it is a strong possibility that your soul mate will be passionate about some of the things that you are and that your passions might just be the very thing that bring you two together? Nevertheless, do not focus on your passion for your soul mate; focus on your passion because of the energy it brings to YOU!

  1. Don’t go looking for your soul mate

Do not go out on a quest to search high and low for your soul mate. Just keep living your life and creating positive energy around yourself and in yourself. While it is important to not focus so much anxious energy to find that person you are supposed to be with, you do need to keep your eyes open when they come to you! I’m sure some of you reading this may be confused or even scared that if you follow this, you will never find your soul mate. But that’s the great thing, you don’t need to “find” them. There is such a thing as trying too hard. When it comes to trying too hard to find love, you are actually preventing yourself from finding the right kind! If looking were the key to finding THE ONE, why is it that so many people who go to sources of single people (ready to mingle) almost always come up short? You know what we are talking about here. Bars, clubs, and so on, and so on. These places have a desperate and frustrated energy – an energy of trying entirely too hard. Finding your soul mate requires an organic, fluid, clear path of positive energy and self-love. When you are ready and the time is right, your soul mate will come to you. You do not need to know where or even how, it will happen. The important thing in the meantime, is to work on yourself so that you will be ready when they show up!

  1. Pray and meditate

Focus your spiritual energy and not so much your physical energy and time, on finding your true soul mate. You will spend plenty of physical energy once they are in your life! Praying and meditating to manifest your soul mate opens the pathways for him or her to come to you. This sends out the clearest and strongest frequency to the universe that you deserve and are ready for love. If you have any doubts or hesitations during this time period, expect a temporary delay, but do not focus on that delay! Continue doing it! Make it a good habit to set this time aside for yourself, your present, and your future. Eventually your confidence and true desires will become stronger than any obstacles that are blocking the way. Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy. Therefore, become your very best friend and advocate for your life and love!

Buyer Beware: Creating Healthy Romantic Partnerships by Avoiding the Halo Effect

According to the NCHS, 40% of marriages have ended by the 15-year mark. It seems we are becoming inept at enjoying long lasting relationships. Why is it so difficult to find the right partner? How do we start on the right foot? By taking a closer look at our own relationships, we can identify what causes our happiness and angst. Let’s take a closer look at how we can attract lasting love and what can be done in the early stages to extend the relationship’s shelf life.

First, You Must Find Each Other

As we mature, we find ourselves with fewer opportunities to build relationships. It’s difficult to meet new people. Our romantic preferences are based on previous dating experiences; by adulthood, we are aware of our type. As these preferences take shape, the dating pool becomes more of a wading pool and we’ve weeded out those who never stood a chance to begin with. Because we do not have a social haven like high school to use as an excuse to strike up conversation, we are left to our own devices when sizing up potential mates. How do you find the proverbial needle in the haystack when there is nothing to talk about aside from your choice of grocery store?

A key to succeeding is The Law of Attraction. We can’t receive love if we aren’t open to it. Self-help author Lisa Nichols explains this perfectly in “The Secret”: “The law of attraction is really obedient. When you think of the things that you want, and you focus on them with all of your intention, the law of attraction will give you what you want every time.”

Could it really be as simple as that? It seems delusional to think an unseen force would cater to our whims solely because we believe. Bob Proctor, a world renowned Life Coach addresses this doubt, adding:

…if you don’t understand it, that doesn’t mean that you should reject it. You don’t understand electricity probably. First of all, no one even knows what electricity is, and yet, you enjoy the benefits of it. Do you know how it works? I don’t know how it works, but I do know this: that you can cook a man’s dinner with electricity, and you can also cook the man.

The main tenet is that ideas become thought-forms. The thought-forms self-actualize. If you do not believe you are worth dating, then neither will anyone else. Belief begets receptivity, and wallowing in self-hatred doesn’t make you a hot commodity. You have to be approachable. If you want to date, you have to put yourself out there.

Buyer Beware

As if finding a lover wasn’t already a challenge, we are distracted and tricked along the way. Do not assume that an attractive person is Mr. or Mrs. Right because you like their eyes. When we first meet someone new, we are swept off our feet. A few weeks later, the interest has waned and we have found ourselves back in the produce section trying to strike up another random conversation about cantaloupe. This is due to a mind-bending trick known as the Halo Effect. Defined by the Psychology Dictionary at AllPsych Online as:

The tendency to assign generally positive or generally negative traits to a person after observing one specific positive or negative trait, respectively.

The halo effect makes us feel like we have nabbed a bright, personable, and contented gentleman because he’s tall and wears his hair just so. When, in fact, Don Juan is a Gas Station Attendant who lives at his mother’s house and ended his five-year engagement by sleeping with his fiancé’s sister…two months ago.

A person’s attractiveness affects the areas of our brains linked to social judgment, as noted by Angela M. Griffin and Judith H. Langlois in an article on Stereotyping Directionality:

Unattractiveness-is-bad was evident primarily in judgments of altruism (e.g., deciding whether someone is helpful) and intelligence (e.g., deciding whether  someone is smart). Judgments of sociability (e.g., deciding whether someone is friendly) showed a bi-directional pattern supporting both unattractiveness-is bad and beauty-is-good manifestations of stereotyping.

Men love cars, and women love shoes. A man sees a brand new Lamborghini sitting in a showroom and his heart is racing. The over-enthusiastic gentleman is smitten: he doesn’t care that the car only gets 18 MPG, and only seats two people. He can’t even pull his jet-ski behind it, but it looks nice. Eventually, the man will come to terms with the fact that the Lamborghini wasn’t all it was cracked up to be; he’s spent $360 on fuel in the last two weeks and owes $600 in speeding tickets. It’s the same with a pair of women’s shoes. A woman slams $300 dollars on the counter at the local department store for a pair of heels she has been pining away for since seeing them in Vogue. She rushes home and rips them out of the box for a night on the town, only to realize that she cannot walk in them for more than 2 hours and needs to carry Band-Aids in her purse from now on.

This can all be avoided if we keep in mind that looks are temporary and character is forever. Writing down a list of desired qualities should help to remind you of what is most important for you in a partner.

Be Yourself, or Be Sorry

Another important skill to develop for manifesting true love and healthy relationships is the ability to represent ourselves as we are. Living up to others’ expectations through artificial means is stupid and wasteful; no one benefits. The resulting disappointment may mean a broken heart. Further misrepresenting yourself when you and your partner are getting more serious is not going to end well for either of you. Choosing to be dishonest about whom we are can bolster resentment. Furthermore, you are cheating yourself out of a genuine connection. Contentment rarely stems from pretending to be something you are not. Whether it’s two weeks into a relationship or years down the line, people cannot operate in a relationship built on false premises.

Establishing Boundaries

Although establishing boundaries seems counter intuitive, it’s an important part of the commitment process. Once you have become exclusive, it is imperative that each person communicates openly about his or her boundaries. Setting these guidelines in the early going will reinforce your bond and prevent sticky situations that could cause pain and anxiety down the road.

A few important areas to discuss are:

  • Personal needs concerning having space and alone time
  • Acceptable and unacceptable behaviors that could build or break trust
  • Sexual information and preferences (should they apply)
  • Important goals for the future of the relationship
  • Goals that are separately important to each member of the partnership

Ensuring that your needs are clearly communicated is your responsibility. Your partner is not a mind reader. An added bonus is that speaking your mind will encourage each of you to continue to express yourselves to the end of your days.

Finding Your Way Back After An Unexpected Breakup: Recovery & Steps

It is never really a happy time when a relationship comes to an end, but it’s especially difficult when that ending was one that you never saw coming. It can be hard to get your emotions together when you have been left with no real explanation as to why it ended. Here are a few tips that will help you get back on your feet.

The Initial Recovery

  1. Time heals all wounds. Research has shown that the brain patterns associated with physical pain are the same as those with social rejection. Take it easy and look after yourself in a way that your former partner didn’t.
  2. Write down your thoughts and feelings. It can be an incredibly cathartic experience to express your emotions in words. Starting a journal is often a good place to begin the healing process and may help you see feelings that you previously ignored or overlooked.
  3. Seek comfort from friends. Talking to someone that you trust can also help. They will be there to listen and offer support in a variety of different ways, including helping you laugh again.
  4. Put new goals in place. Start looking and projects and hobbies that you always wanted to try but never got to. Doing so will provide a pleasant distraction from your pain.
  5. Adopt new routines. Heading to the same old places that you went to with your ex can trigger a lot of unwanted emotions. While it may mean giving up a song that you loved or a favorite place to dine, the good news is that finding a replacement can be fun and exciting.
  6. Seek professional help. If you feel as those your sadness is turning into depression and is stretching on longer than it should, you may benefit from talking to a counselor. Therapy sessions will help you look at your pain objectively and find new solutions.
  7.  Create your own story. You may never find out why your partner walked away, but don’t let it stop you from creating your own ending. Acknowledge that it happened, forgive them for their actions, and then move on with the rest of your life.

Taking Steps That Will Prevent You From Being Blindsided Again

  1. Study the patterns in your relationships. If this type of breakup is a first for you, it may be a one-off event that has more to do with your ex than anything you did. All manner of different factors outside of your control may have caused them to bolt. If this is just the latest in a string of similar breakups, you need to think about why they keep happening that way.
  2. Slow down. A relationship that starts out quickly can fizzle out in a short period of time. Take time to get to know your partner and let the relationship progress naturally.
  3. Keep the lines of communication open. Always let your partner know what you are feeling, but do so in a way that is respectful. You should return the favor by listening, even when what they have to say makes you feel uncomfortable.
  4. Settle conflicts maturely. There are sure to be disagreements in your relationship, but you can get through them all if you talk about them like adults.
  5. Pay attention to actions. Pay attention to what your partner does, as well as what they say. For example, if they say they want to be with you but are always booked up, you need to question why they are doing that.
  6. Be prepared to take a risk. There are elements of your relationship that are going to be out of your control, which means there is always an element of risk involved. Take the setbacks as they come and try to work through them so that the relationship can grow.

Being involved in a romantic relationship can be a truly wonderful time in your life, but it definitely comes with an element of risk. Look at what happened in failed relationship, but don’t dwell on them. Learn from your mistakes and grow as you move forward

Be Independent And Watch Your Relationship Blossom

There may be no greater feeling than being in love and sharing your most intimate thoughts with that someone special. Just thinking of your partner is enough to trigger feelings of joy, while the sight of them can make your heart skip a beat.

As great as it is to spend time with that person, it’s still healthy to save time for yourself. Taking time to pursue your hobbies and spend time with friends is the perfect way to ensure that you always maintain your own unique identity.

Showing your independence while in a relationship brings the following benefits:

1. The ability to maintain your individuality. Taking time out for yourself allows you to grow as a person and expand those traits that your partner fell for in the first place.

2. Adding a new level of interest to the relationship. Having interests of your own means being able to talk about them and share your experiences with your partner. They may take a genuine interest in your individual pursuits and offer words of encouragement.

3. Help keep things fresh. The relationships that burn out the quickest are those where the couple spends every single waking moment together.

  • Pursuing individual interests can help you become a better partner. Doing the same things over and over again can quickly lead to you becoming bored with the relationship.

Your relationship will take off when you allow yourself time for personal growth. As much as you love being in your relationship, there are plenty of real valid reasons why independence is still incredibly important.

5 steps that will help you achieve healthy independence in your relationship:

1. Be active in the things that interest you the most. Try to make time for these things a few times each and every month.

  • This sort of personal development will help you in your personal and business life.

2. Make time for friends. Surrounding yourself with good friends will help you to remain grounded. Your friends know you and your personal experiences better than most, and they will ensure that you never drift too far from your true self.

3. Research subjects that are of genuine interest to you. Imagine for a moment that you just watched a great show about Italian cooking. Get online and find out all you can about the different techniques and ingredients. It’s never too late to teach yourself something new.

4. Share your feelings. A big part of maintaining your individuality is keeping in touch with your feelings and sharing them with others. That may even come in the form of a disagreement with your partner.

  • If you are open and honest about your feelings, your partner will do the same.

5. Your mind, emotions, and sense of self should always be kept intact. The best relationships are those that contain a pair of healthy individuals. Make sure to do your part to maintain your side of the bargain.

Following the tips outlined above will help you keep in touch with your sense of self and individuality. This is even true when love has blossomed and you are in a serious relationship. If you can be yourself and maintain your own happiness, it will make it easier to share that happiness with the one you love.

6 Lessons on How to Pump Up Emotional Intimacy In Your Relationship

Feeling close to somebody is basically what emotional intimacy is all about. It’s not something exclusive to lovers. Even family and friends can feel it. Some even go so far as to claim experiencing it with pets. Emotionally intimate people are often soul mates, they have a common world view and experience stuff the same way.

How to Enhance Emotional Intimacy In Relationships

Emotional intimacy’s importance can’t be denied. However, what if attempts to become close to people prove difficult? What then? The tips below regarding connecting with individuals on a more profound note might help.

  1. Determine why you’re so shy – Why are you distancing yourself from others? Perhaps it’s got something to do with how you were raised or you’ve been disappointed before. If in the past, you managed to be emotionally intimate with people, but are now having a hard time with one specific individual, maybe that person is THE challenge. Get at the heart of the issue then move on.
  2. Reveal what’s inside, even if just bits and pieces – Many might be open to revealing tons of personal info, but some aren’t as easy to share important stuff. Sharing private details develops closeness and trust, the opposite poses obstacles to emotional intimacy. If uneasy about sharing, start with the small things and go from there. Make a habit of voicing opinions and ideas. After deciding somebody is trustworthy, feel free to share more.
  3. Get physical – Feelings can change if you act differently. Consider squeezing someone’s arm or holding his hand as he passes by, or embracing loved ones when they don’t expect it. Such actions might feel funny initially, but it’ll go far toward building emotional intimacy.
  4. Recall instances when you were emotionally intimate with people – Some might be less emotionally forthcoming about themselves than they’d like, but chances are, there was a time when they were successful at it. Think of those times when you felt a strong connection to somebody. Recalling the past helps boost confidence to allow you to move forward.
  5. Prioritize emotional intimacy – Guys are guiltier of shunning emotional intimacy than gals. Relationships typically start off outside the physical aspect and progress from there. While both intimacies are great, take care not to substitute one for the other.
  6. Proceed with caution – Forcing intimacy can be a disaster. Asking too many personal questions or sharing too much can make the other individual defensive. Intimacy building is all about subtlety.

A happy life that’s also fulfilled hinges on becoming emotionally intimate. While it can be a challenge to bare your soul and be vulnerable, it’s nevertheless healthy and important. Start small to make the process easier. If they respond positively, take it one step further. You might feel loved ones are shutting you out, but remember, it’s still possible to create the emotional intimacy you long for.

Does Your Ex Deserve Another Chance

What To Do When Your Wants Another Chance

When it comes to relationships, mutual breakups are a rare occurrence. Most often, the split is one-sided. No matter who wanted out of the relationship and ended it, there will come a time wherein your ex or yourself might want to give the relationship another shot.

On Giving An Ex A Second Chance

For those who find themselves wanting to rekindle an old flame, a bit of soul-searching might be in order before getting back together. When contemplating a reunion with a former sweetheart, consider the following points first before actually taking the plunge anew.

  • You can do better – People sometimes opt to be with a person because I beats being alone, even when there’s plenty of other fish (even better) in the sea. Never settle for somebody you’re not compatible with, and simply move on. Would you still be interested in your ex if you knew there was someone else out there for you?
  • Recall why the breakup happened – There’s a reason things didn’t work out. Call to mind what it was. If the problem back then wasn’t clear to you, you’ll likely be ill-equipped to gauge the chances of success of the relationship this time around. Think back on how your old relationship was.
  • Any changes since the breakup? – If the answer is “none,” then you’re probably looking at a similar outcome. After all, you’re only capable of change at your end of things.

Now it’s time to decide what to do. For those who feel they should give the relationship another chance, consider taking certain steps. Take note of the following when attempting to get your former love back:

  • Don’t look desperate or beg – Nobody likes desperation. It likewise sets the wrong precedent. A better option would be to exercise patience and let nature take its course. There’s a greater chance of success when both parties are willing to compromise and meet halfway.
  • Show, more than tell – Actions speak louder than words. Instead of just talking about how much you have changed and grown, show it. You can only fake it for so long. Example: You’re thinking of becoming nicer to your ex’s pals this time. Stop saying it. Go hang out with them already.
  • Inject some romance – Sincere gestures go far toward healing old wounds and restoring romantic sentiments. Penning a heartfelt letter is one way to start.
  • Try out something new – It could be a different activity or exploring new locations. Being somewhere new causes the other person to look at you in a new light. The good stays while the bad go.
  • Quit playing games – You can’t get one past your ex. They’re likely to see through the games and schemes. It’s best to be straight up about everything.
  • Apologize when the situation demands it – Knowing that the other party deserves a “sorry” isn’t rocket science. Man up to your faults and say sorry. Your relationship will be stronger for it.
  • Past is past – Let go of the old relationship. It’s the only way to forge new bonds. Holding on to the past’s negativity prevents you from moving forward.
  • Recall the good times – Shared pasts are hard to forget. Mention pleasant memories from the old relationship. The good times will cause both of you to remember why you got together in the first place.

Deciding whether or not you want to give your ex a second chance is a huge deal.  Reuniting with an old flame can be a real challenge, but then again, it can also be a good idea. The key is to do whatever is in the best interests of everybody involved. Some relationships are worth another go, while others are better left in Splitsville. See to it that you’ve got a plan and move forward with caution.